change.
a scene in a living room. subject a is staring at the flickering static lines of the television. he glances up at the wall clock, and discovers that it was 3 a.m. or that he had been staring, without a clue to his destination or motive, for 5 hours. subject a feels like a half-eaten sandwich. a strange analogy, but subject a knew that he was in a strange mood. or was a strange person. the extreme humidity of the night did not help him focus.
change.
subject a is standing on the stage, prancing around like a prize fighter. thousands of wailing, sweaty bodies are forming a blitzkrieg-bopping tidal wave in front of him. in a state of upmost esctacy he swears at the crowd: "adrenaline is my fuel when i've an obstacle to climb, adrenaline is the lubrication, focusing my mind. adrenaline is telling me when someone's thinking they're too cool, to raise my middle fingers up and say 'fuck you!'". subject a felt powerful. for that very ephemeral moment he thought he attained diety-hood. but hours later, in a acrid-smelling lightless apartment, divisional police found a young male dead body suspect to have died of a drug overdose.
change.
subject a is walking along the streets of an urban city, with him, a lovely girl of about his age. they walk like the only people in existence, so absorbed in the attentions of one another. they were absolutely feeding off each other's energies, in a foundry of attraction. they knew that nothing absolutely mattered, even if the world was against them, because they had found solace in the strange familiar human scent of one another, caressing in an entwining of kismetic love.
change.
subject a is standing on the edge of a tall building. the greyish plume of the distant skyline seemed an unforgiving hand, or eye, upon the much-maligned character. a stoic sentinel gazing upon the tarmac a 100 feet away from him, in silent contemplation and rumination. "no fear."
change.
subject a is walking in a crowded shopping mall. suddenly 3 armed men came charging from a dim corner, intent on cutting down subject a. subject a dodged the first attempted stab of a shiv by the first assailant and grappled the second assailant armed with a knife, twisting his arm, and forcing him down onto the first assailant who was struggling on the floor to recover from the failed attempt. there was contact, and the first assailant did not move very much after that. the third assailant, however was more dangerous as he swung his steel baseball bat. subject a dodged the first few wild swipes, then sidesteps his attacker and with his back turned, grabs his attacker's arm and pulled him forward, causing him to knock into subject a. subject a dug deep into his attacker's knuckles and wrench the baseball bat out of his struggling hands. police later found 3 bodies at the scene, one dead from massive haemorrhage through a stab wound; the other 2 from severe trauma insults to the skull. the murder weapon was not found at the scene of crime.
change.
subject a is walking out of a cinema with two other persons, assumably to be his friends, due to his genial disposition and kindly mannerisms towards these two individuals. one of them remarked to the other two that the movie they just watched was too boring. subject a replied, "although the movie sometimes bordered into the banausiac, however, the lengthy and tedious movement of the action and pace in the movie culminates the perfect expression of the inadequacies of the human condition. a disease that soon spreads slowly, until it ravages, like a wildfire cancer, and plague the unaware."
change.
disturbing the equilibrium of the surface tension of his drink with the clicking of his nails upon the glass, subject a is terribly bored. or looks terribly bored. but he is not, in fact, at this very moment he is ruminating upon his inefficacious life. nothing much has been brought forward into fruition, and the more he put his hand forwards, the dimmer, as Camus puts it, 'the shade upon the shadow'. in a revolution of the different aspects and circumstances, the variegated nodal points of his endeavours seemed to circumvent in its entirety of their failures upon this very moment.
change.
and everything would be alright.
change.
but everything isn't.
The Reason
I'm not a perfect person
As many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why i need you to hear
I've found a resaon for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
And the reason is you
And the reason is you
And the reason is
You
I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you
Hoobastank