"Would it have been better if destiny was actually interwoven, that fates would collide and explode into a supernova of joy, or anguish?"
He pushed open the glass doors that were opaque from the frigid temperature inside. At once he wished he was amphibial; the coldness of the new surrondings was biting and gnawing edges off his heart. But at least, he would have a warm mug of coffee to nurse as he seeks solace in... in what? The coffee? The place? The decor? The people? Himself?
"Good afternoon... your order, sir?"
The voice was so cheerful it was nauseating.
"Um... yeah, well, just a black coffee."
"Black coffee? Sir?"
Stop raising your eyebrows. It is very irritating.
"Yes. Just black coffee."
And please don't smile like that. Its very cosmetic.
"Ok sir. Thank for your order!"
Why had he felt like that, he could not explain. Perhaps it was because of his disappointment. Perhaps it was because of reality. Or perhaps, it was the horrific truth that Haley's had just past him by, and he had failed to board it.
He could drum his fingers until they hurt, but he decided that he was to save them from his emotions for the moment. Arching his shoulders forward, he rested his elbows on the table and placed his palms on either side of his cheeks, his hands pulling a perfect expression to map his emotions. Distractions. He needed distractions. The decor. Stylish black leather couches with a simple but practical glass panel coffee table. Ineffable art pieces hung on magneta walls, depressed in black light. Dance studio parquet, with navy blue Nomad rugs strewn beneath every table. He got a headache just by thinking how pretentious the styler must have been when he styled the furniture for this joint. But that would never equal the aching chasm that had took his emotions hostage.
"Your coffee, sir!"
"Alright. Thanks."
And he clasped his mug in his palms, cradling it like a baby. Thick, dark, and sour. Just like the breath of his on those heady days when he would come staggering through the dead and winding ends of his labyrinth heart. Gingerly, he sampled the nigreous solution. Filthy, as filthy as he had felt. It could have sounded like an irony, but he felt grateful that he had black coffee rolling off his tongue into oblivion, feeding the wails of the gnashing teeth. They fondled his buds, and assaulted them like a healing rain washing off his filth.
Why was he so hooked? He was sure that it was perfumed, and his personal integrity would be in question. And that did not stop him. It was laughable, really. Like hopelessly optimistic photographers hoping to catch a glimpse of Nessie. But yet, foolishness only sets in after the foolish act.
He remembered the azaleas he had in a white and lilac vase at home. Every petal of them seems to be secret letters open only to his heart, and to no others. And they were dying, from neglect. He found it troublesome to water them, and so, he did not. Letters tattooed by idle thoughts.
They died early this morning.
The azaleas in his vase wilted.
He stared at his mug again. He hazarded a taste, and found it too salty for his liking. Was that... no, it probably wasn't. It was impossible that he would be maudlin over such a matter. A trite matter, anyway.
But if only he believed what he just told himself. Somewhere deep inside a laughter echoes, accompanied by a tearful symphony.
"And I woke up. And I knew, I was the only one left crying.
a metal stork took my neice here today. as i enter the door she toddles to me, grinning and gurgling. oddly enough, i have only seen her once before this. her sheer curiosity is remarkable, following me everywhere, cooing happily as i went around the house and touching everything in sight, trying to topple my CD tower etc. almost like a excited puppy, though of course, much cuter. and i only managed to stave off her curiosity and get her to rejoin my cousin by giving her a CD casing and asking her to show it to her mother. and all the adults of the family centred their attention on this little package, clapping and laughing and making funny faces. amazing what a child can do to adults.