Happy happy happy
Ok, ok...... must start thinking happy thoughts. I've been too depressive I think, with people asking me what was up with me. I'm sorry. Alright, back to that...... think happy thoughts...... think happy thoughts...... lalalala......
*drool*
Q&A
Have you ever been in a crowd
Standing there, looking around for a familiar face
But knew there were none
Because you were alone by yourself
You try passing around the room
But it felt more like the room was passing over you......
Have you ever been in a group
Standing there, searching for your soul
But knew there were none
Because you had lost it long ago
You try, soul-less, joining in the group
But it felt more like the group was joining without you......
Have you ever been in a pair
Standing there, finding ways to connect
But knew that you had none
Because you never had it in the first place
You try to reciprocate, satisfy the other
But it felt more like the other was disatisfied with you......
Have you even been by yourself
Standing there, questioning for answers
But knew you had none
Because you cannot understand it all
You try to soothe yourself, guessing the identity
But it felt more like your identity was guessed.....
Entry reply to Benjamin
I did grew up reading Enid Blyton. I don't know why I'm like this, but maybe the more sinister undertones of her tales had sunken into me since a very young age. It was brought out by my life experiences I guess...... I was, and am, a screwed-up kid. I'm just too jaded and disillusioned...... I'm sorry. Please don't worry about me, I'm fine.
But when I close my eyes, I feel it all slipping away. Like a torture.
Late Goodbye
No no I've got it already
I am alright on my own
But why am I telling you this
Since you never gave a damn in the first place
Its still stuck to the walls; I can't clean it off
My wrist is dry; I've dropped the blade
But I can never erase those mistakes
I have plagued the walls of its white pride
I huddled and gripped my knees to my empty chest
The walls are shaking; my hands are shaking; my mind is shaking
I laughed aloud at what I've become
I will slip further and further down
And drown in my purdah; you don't have to bother
With me anymore; you can finally walk free
And I will entertain myself
With arcane cabalistic entries burned into my eyes
So are you satisfied
I've been fucked inside out
Are you happy now
I can see my guts through my blinded eyes
And the world I will excoriate
And descend; you wouldn't have to see me again