Stillborn
He wished he could relinquish his life and shuffle off this mortal coil. He checked his pulse for the umpteenth time. A faint tickling, but nonetheless still hinting existence of a spark of life in him. He was amused at the irony of that, for his hebetude and heart of stone is known to all. Him being phlegmatic might be even too mild a word to accurately describe the lifeless apathy that was him.
Denial still stung in those lifeless eyes of his, but he was insusceptible to those emotions. Because he didn't had any. They tell him he's always in conflict because he's lost and incomplete. Lying somewhere between in the sleepless shadows, whether day or night. That he's a daydreamer, a sleepwalker...... but they never understood one thing that was him. He felt so claustrophobic, because it's all buried in the the lifeless sockets. Everytime he closed his eyes he would feel the exquisite dolor, burning and searing, tearing up inside him. But he never showed it. Because they said he couldn't. And he succumbed to the words of others, and modified their lies to become his modified lies.
But he grew more and more comfortable in the shell that he had put up. Their lies become modified lies. Modified lies become his lies. His lies become his truth. And in the truth he feels that he is truly dead, that he came into the world as a stillborn.
enervate, exit highland.
Imagery
What is YOUR Highschool label?
I'm gothic?? Woo...... kewl...... pity about that picture here though...... needs some work there, yeah......
enervate, exit highland.
How will i die
Didn't your mother tell you not to play with mysterious puzzle boxes?
Find out
How would you die in a horror
movie?
Hellraiser ROX!!!
enervate, exit highland.
A tale of two brothers
I'm very sick and tired this week. My mom and dad has been pestering me non-stop to call NUS and also go online to their website to check my brother's university posting results. My mom got so shocked when all her friends' sons and daughters got their posting results and my brother didn't get it. Later we found out when we called NUS that medicine courses (my brother's first choice and also the jewel of my parents) would only get their results a week later than the rest. So they continued to live in hope, while I lived in disgust. All right shoot me I'm a cynic.
Then the results came in, earlier than expected. My brother got into Science course and not the medicine ones. My mom began wailing and whining about how my brother, the brilliant young man he was, could not get into the course. Well he did get 4As, plus A2 both his GP and Chinese, so there was actually a very high chance that he could get inside. My parents then set me on checking the website for any signs of mistakes for, let me count, 15 times? In 2 days. And also called them up 4 times. My mom went off calling her friends and complaining to them about how angry she was, that her brilliant diamond had not been accepted into the prestigious School of Medicine, and was unjustly posted to the lousier course, Science course.
What sickens me is how my parents bickered about this matter. Checking the website non-stop, calling them several times...... they even wanted to go down to NUS to argue with them about the 'misplacing'. Let me draw a parallel to my JAE. When I got posted to St. Andrews, and not the fabulous desideratum that was Hwa Chong...... no offense to those from Hwa Chong, you got in by your sheer quality....... they were sorely disappointed, yes, but in a different kind of way. I was happy that I got into St. Andrews because I knew that I did not like Hwa Chong. The people in St. Andrews are more than a match for those in Hwa Chong. But nevertheless they couldn't agree with my view. They yelled at me, raining a volley of caustic words upon my face, saying that I was a good for nothing and that I had better scrape whatever that is left of me off the floor and try to save whatever remnants there is. They were even more exquisitely explosive when they learnt that I was only doing 3 subjects, and thereatened to embark on a dragonnade if I did not stop my deliclivity. After that came the post-mortem...... that I was hopeless, a lost cause, and all that kept me from destruction was all because of the infinite mercy and benevolence of the Author of all things. They said they would pray and pray and pray and hope that The Eternal would show me the light out of this Stygian depths.
The tale of two brothers: the number one son, and the other without a name.
enervate, exit highland.
Swinging to the star
The young boy was full of mirth, ready to burst into laughter anytime. He always had an air of alacrity in him, possessing an immense risiblity and also a rather infectious laughter too. You could see and almost feel the vivacity that was coursing in his youthful eyes, full of zest for life. People often wonder where did this boy find his source of happiness. There was never a sad moment to this boy's life, as it seems to everyone around him. Even his parents couldn't really remember the occasions which the boy was actually downcast. The boy was loud, but no one mind for they all enjoyed his loud gaiety which rubbed off to the others constantly. As a result he was never short of friends, or play-pals. He was the king of his circle, the cock of the walk. He felt he was on top of the world. And he was only 8.
There was a garden swing at his house. Sometimes at night after dinner his parents would bring him there, and sit on the swing, anointed in the cooling balm of the night. He would swing gleefully with all the strength his little body could muster, until his parents told him to stop rocking so hard. When he got all tired and warm from his exertions he would sit back onto the swing and stare at the night sky. His parents would serenade him soothingly with grandiose fairy tales, while he stared at the murk. He noticed the twinkling objects, the little, bright and dim satallites that seemed permanently etched into the night sky.
"Mom, Dad, what are they?"
"Why, they are stars! See them shine and glimmer! Aren't they beautiful?"
"Mom, Dad, how many stars are there? There seem to be many many of them!"
"Yes, son, there are many many of them out there. You know, stars are actually our dreams. Those brighter ones are the best ones out there. The dimmer ones aren't that good, but still they are dreams. There are also unlit ones which are bad dreams. When you sleep at night and you dream of something, a star is born. What did you dream of last night?"
"I... I had an nightmare......"
"Oh, yes, you were not able to sleep yesterday night! You woke us up, because you were scared. A black star is born, taking away your nightmare so that you could sleep peacefully......"
His parents went on and on, but the little boy paid no attention to their words. Are the stars really our dreams? His young mind could not comprehend what his parents had said to him, but it had disturbed him much. From that evening on he would stare at the starry sky every night, often waking up in the dead of the night to do so. He pondered long and hard. A thought came to him. "If the bright stars are my pleasant dreams, that means if I can get to them, I can live my pleasant dreams!"
He rushed to the swing in the garden. And swing he did. And rock. And swing. And rock. And swing. Higher and higher he went, harder and harder he pushed. With one hand he held on to the swing for balance, the other was outstretched towards the night sky. His gaze was fixed upon the brightest star in the sky. His hands clasped and opened spasmodically, pumping madly, as if possessed. And he swung. And rocked. And swung. And rocked. And clasped. And released. And clasped. And released.......
His parents found him lying on the swing next morning, drenched in the morning dew. After reviving him, they barraged him and gave him a good dressing. His little mind couldn't comprehend what they were doing. "Mom, Dad, why are you telling me not to get to my dreams? I want to live my dreams! The stars are my dreams! Mom, Dad, why are you doing this, why don't you let me chase my dreams!" He had thought that his parents would understand, ever since he was 3 they had told him to chase his dreams. And he did. And they didn't approve.
Mentally confused and interrupted, he became an eremite. He no longer laughed, even when egged on by the others. He always seemed to be haunted by something unknown, a distant memory perhaps, but no one ever knew. He became a macabre reminder of his previous state, a hollowed shell of his past. No one could understand what had caused such a mercurial change in him. But neither could he. All he knew was that he had to go to the swing every night. He would slip out in the Cimmerian darkness of the night and rock on the swing, with his hands outstretched, eyes gazing at the hollow blackness above. One day, he believed, if he swung hard enough, he might just reach the brightest star and live his dream.
Till this day he still swings to the star.
enervate, exit highland.
Jelly beans
What Jelly Belly flavor are you? I'm -
enervate, exit highland.
Staggerby
I'm struggling......
I'm staggering......
I'm dying......
Sulfurous tinge I received it
When you back is turned from me
Flick of sparks, volatile hell
The fire you breed consumes me
Hatred supernova explosion
Drops of mercury the catalyst
My pallid flesh blisters and boils
You sink your teeth into this
Screaming out for you to let go
Telling you I was only passing by
Your vampiric tendrils expunges my soul
Leaden weights I'm staggering by
"I'm going to bleed you dry, hermorrhage expulsions"
"I'll plague you, I'm going tear you apart,"
Twisted paroxysms conniptions convulsions
Uncontrollable deliclivity till I bite the dust
I'm no longer a passerby now
Stuck in the quagmire I'm struggling like a bug
Mortally wounded, my life force transude
Because you've reached in, and pulled me apart
I'm struggling......
I'm staggering......
I'm dying......
I'm sucked into your icy inferno
That seeked to propagate your unholy undeavours
Please leave me alone now; I was just a passerby
Harrowed and mutliated, I will walk life as a staggerby
enervate, exit highland.
Slacker......
Take the
What Kind of Slacker are you? Quiz
eh......? Wha...? Well guess they are right...... Jalobi said my only contribution to society would be a professional busker in the tunnels of Orchard MRT...... yay! I'm gonna be a productive member of society! Watch out world, here I come!
enervate, exit highland.